2009 Goals

Here is my updated achievements-and-targets table, taken from this time last year:

Projects	2007 (actual)	2008 (target)	2008 (actual)	2009 (target)
Words written	73,359	>100,000	~38,000	>50,000
Shorties plotted	46	40	20	26
Shorties written	19	26	15	26
Flashes written	31	10	1	10
Poems written	3	5	1	5
Novels completed	1	1-2	0	1
Novels plotted	4	0	1	0
Novels started	2	1	0	1
Total Submissions	53	100	4	50
Hits	1	>1	1*	10

*Yey! A target met!

Apart from that one achievement, it will appear to you that I have had an appalling year, and in some ways I have; but, in truth, I have been necessarily distracted from writing (and blogging) by life - and I am glad to have spent the time sorting out those things that needed sorting out.

Now, life is Different, and that is Good - because it was Pretty Bloody Awful before - and I plan (with somewhat humbled ambitions) to return to my writing.

I also wish to offer a huge-and-public, THANK YOU to Helenmh and JJ who, despite having their own lives to lead, have been such good friends to me this year, both via the net and in real-hug-life. Thank you girls - I am immensely grateful for all your support. And thank you to all my other blogmates and visitors - it's been a pleasure to share the ether with you.

May 2009 bring progress in your life, writing-wise and otherwise.

Baz Luhrmann's Australia, A Review

In attempt to go one better than Helenmh's six-word film reviews (my favourite was of Mamma Mia, for which she wrote: "Colin Firth with no shirt on"), here is my two-word review of Baz Luhrmann's new blockbuster, Australia:

Whew Jackman!

Or, if you would prefer the full six words: "Hugh Jackman gets his kecks off" (or "Daniel Craig, eat your heart out"). And if you would prefer an intelligent review, I'm sorry.

Awards Awards!

I am really honoured this week; I have two more awards!

Really chuffed to have come third in DJK's Wordless Wednesday competition this week (see right). For those who are not familiar with Wordless Wednesday, I heartily recommend a visit to DJ's blog, Chez Aspie, where her weekly caption-competition brings a plethora of high-class entries (including mine, of course. Obviously). Get yours in too!

My other award is from JJ, who thinks my blog is fabulous. Well, thank you, JJ, and thank you for the challenge of naming five obsessions (the task attached to the award). Now, those who know me well will realise how difficult this challenge is for me, because I am not, in any way, an obsessive person. If I were, however, I think my obsessions would be:

• saving money (I have the bankers* to thank for this one)
• being on time
• loading the dishwasher in a certain way
• not hoarding (the current replacement for my hoarding obsession)
• not being obsessive
  * Feel free to translate into rhyming slang.

The Rules for receiving the above award are:
1. Copy and paste the rules and instructions into your post.
2. Post the award, and a link to the person who gave it to you.
3. Post five of your addictions.
4. Post five winners and link to them as well.
5. Inform your winners by commenting on their blogs.

So, my winners are: SallyQ, Karen, Trousers, B, Tom Foolery, and Zinnia.

Superior Scribbler Award

The lovely DJ Kirkby has given me this marvellous award. I am very honoured to be thus endowed by the illustrious DJK, but also to be thought of as a Superior Scribbler - especially as I have not been doing much scribbling of late.

Additionally, DJ's timing could not have been better: I went on a Della course with Helen yesterday, and I couldn't recommend it highly enough. I came away glowing with ideas. Subsequently, showing Helen my writing software and pictures of my main novel-characters made me miss the world in which I was once so deeply buried. And it's been a crap year, and I am keen for it to end on a positive note. So, thank you, DJ. I am truly inspired to start writing again and be worthy of this award!

So, the first thing I must do is pass it on to: womagwriter (if she's sobered up enough to receive it without falling off the stage), Helen (because her writing is so beautiful), JJ (because she deserves it), Calistro (because she's an inspiration), and Spiral Jen and Lane (because they use their writing to make other people laugh). So, here you are, girls. Enjoy it. Pass it on.

The Rules
1. Every superior scribbler must name other super scribblers.
2. Link back to the author and the name of the blog that gave you the award.
3. Display the award and link to this post, which explains the award.
4. Add your name to the Mr Linky List, some way down this page, as a record of who the superest scribblers are.

I used to be lethargic, but I can't be bothered anymore...

In fact, having shaken myself out of a long-term stupor, I find I can be bothered to do all sorts of things.

Today, with a certain degree of motivation, I finally switched various suppliers/tariffs - having known for years that we were probably paying too much for some services. From January/February 2009, I will be saving £50 a month on electricity, £15 a month on my mobile (including a extra fiver off for suggesting a move to Orange), £25 a month on the home phone, and £5 a month on broadband. That's...er...£85 a month saved...

I'm a bit gobsmacked, actually.

Are you a super service-switcher, or a lethargic lazy-lumpkin?

And I Never Knew the Revenue had a Sense of Humour

You might have seen this already, but if you haven't, I just have to share it with you... on Mark Lee's blog, Accountant Jokes and Fun.
I'm still smiling.

Lost in Translation!

The Welsh text reads:
"I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated."

Taken from the BBC.

An Award!

The adorable Helenmh has presented me with this super award... on the condition that I answer all the questions that go with it:
1. Where is your mobile? In my back pocket.
2. Where is your significant other? In the kitchen making himself an omelette
3. Your hair colour? Yes, I still have some colour
4. Your mother? Dead
5. Your father? A great friend
6. Your favorite thing? Beer
7. Your dream last night? Oooh, ooh, it was a really vivid one about... errrrm... I can't remember.
8. Your dream/goal? To have three happy children
9. The room you're in? Study
10. Your hobby? Sleeping (when I get the chance)
11. Your fear? Serious health problems
12. Where do you want to be in six years? In a happy place
13. Where were you last night? At home
14. What you're not? Teetotal
15. One of your wish-list items? A tidy house
16. Where you grew up? In a not-very-nice town
17. The last thing you did? Eat chocolate
18. What are you wearing? Jeans and a hoodie (plus a full compliment of underwear)
19. Your TV? Very small and very old
20. Your pets? Three guineas, three chickens, three children & a husband
21. Your computer? iBook
22. Your mood? Reasonable
23. Missing someone? My cat
24. Your car? Black gangsta car
25. Something you're not wearing? Makeup
26. Favourite shop? The Apple Store
27. Your summer? Scottish
28. Love someone? My kids, always
29. Your favorite color? Orange
30. When was the last time you laughed? This afternoon - with some riotous friends
31. Last time you cried? This afternoon (with laughter - see previous entry)

I'd like to pass on this award to: B, Spiral, Trousers, JJ, and Womag.

On Mountains and Muppetry

I climbed a mountain today.

I had until the baby woke up from her lunchtime nap to get back to the cottage, and so I had to climb it in record time. That wasn't as hard as it sounds because, although it was a bloody big mountain, I was on my own.

I've climbed that particular mountain: while pregnant with the small boy; while pregnant with the small girl; carrying the small boy on my back; carrying the small girl on my front (see photo); carrying the small girl on my back whilst pushing the small boy in the buggy. Today, I carried nothing more than a bottle of water, and that was much easier. (Easier still was taking the funicular down; baby's nap time and all that.)

When I got back to the carpark, I thought "Oh, look. There's another car exactly like mine." I did think it a bit odd that there should be one exactly like mine parked so very close. But I knew it was somebody else's, because the door was wide open...

Ahem.

Soooo, my advice is, if you're going to leave your car unlocked at a popular tourist spot, make sure you leave the door open too, because no owner would be such a muppet to be any distance away, thus the car thieves will leave it alone...

Warning: Another Rant

This time, we're talking phone companies. In particular: Vodafone.

Himself is in the wilds of Scotland. His mobile tariff was due to end, and he was required to call them with his sim number in order to move to a new tariff. So far so easy. He called them, gave the necessary information. The chappy said "I'm just switching you now", and the line went dead. So, I got a call from pissed-off husband (from a payphone - he had 20p) telling me that his sim was now showing 'invalid', and would I please call Vodafone and sort it out.

Great.

The first moron I spoke to said she couldn't deal with me as it would be illegal to make any changes to my husband's account without his permission. "But you already have," I said."You didn't have his permission to invalidate his sim." But she wouldn't budge. She needed to speak with him, she said, and him alone, despite the fact that he is currently inhabiting the northern wilds with a non-working phone (and absolutely no inclination to stand in a freezing phone box feeding 20ps into the slot while waiting for someone to put down his cup of tea down long enough to answer the bloody phone.). I suggested telepathy, but she didn't see the funny side. In fact she didn't see my side of it at all, and put the phone down. (Though that might have been because I shouted at her).

The second moron was a bit more helpful. She was quite prepared to act illegally (huh?), but when I read her the number that himself had given me from the back of his sim card, she said it didn't exist, and that she couldn't do anything without the number from his actual sim, the one in his actual phone...

I won't bore you with the rise and fall of my temper (mostly rising) over the following hour, only to say that that was how long it took for absolutely nothing to happen. Husband is still stranded in the northern wilds without a phone. Fortunately, he is stranded within inches of a bar populated by rather a lot of our mates (and he's not actually stranded). I told him he can deal with it.

PlusNet has entered my consciousness by trying to charge me a cancellation fee for cancelling a service I reckon they didn't provide: 48kps anyone? Call that broadband? I don't.

Watch this space...