Thursday, June 12, 2008

Firm Foundations

And so, whilst trying to make space for my laptop, amongst all the stuff that has crept back onto my desk, I realised that my tidying-up dominoes were all still lying along the same path, still leading to the loft.

To that end, I went back to the DIY store, and came home laden with twelve packs of tongue and groove boarding - weighing 14kg each - yes, I weighed them, after carrying the first eleven from the car to the loft - and a box of 100x no.6, 40mm wood screws (I just love dazzling you with the technicalities).

Some days later (I don't know how many; I lost all sense of time) I clambered back down the loft ladder with a painful case of housemaid's knee, builder's back, and a rather wild stare; but a loft you could walk across with your eyes closed.

--Take Your Life in Your Hands--------------Boarded!

And so, I ticked another one off the list of...
Jobs to be Done in the Loft:
1. Put lights up
2. Put boards down

3. Tidy up
4. Contact builder/electricians/window people/carpet people to quote for work
5. Plasterboard loft
6. Watch builder/electrician/window people/carpet people do their jobs
7. Struggle up ladder with furniture
8. Relax with nice view over the Sussex weald, and a large glass of Merlot
9. Get writing!

Easy, I thought, on to number three. Ahem...I've been having a bit of trouble with number three. It has developed a number of sub-clauses, not apparent when I originally wrote the list:
3a. Open loft hatch
3b. Pull down ladder
3c. Climb ladder, and stick head into loft space
3d. Switch on lights
3e. Survey loft, and decide upon Tidying Order-of-Events
3f. Switch off lights
3g. Remove head from loft space, and climb back down ladder
3h. Push ladder up
3i. Close loft hatch
3j. Walk away quickly, hoping that there have been no witnesses
3k. Tell lies about how much time has been occupied by children/work/domestic chores all day
3l. Add 'Tidy Loft' to tomorrow's list of jobs


Lane said...

Number 8 sounds good and well worth the work once you've got through all those sub clauses!

I am very impressed with your DIY skills. Very impressed!

womagwriter said...

Boarding looks fantastic! We used to have loft boards then had to take most of them up to get the insulation in, and the insulation comes above the rafters so now I think we are stuffed. At least the house is warm.

You sound like you are a whizz with a cordless screwdriver. I leave that to the trouser-wearer while I wield a paintbrush instead.

HelenMH said...

Oh dear, when your list has got to 3l, you know you've got problems xxx

SpiralSkies said...

Oh dear, I need a large glass of Merlot just reading that list. You certainly very handy in the DIY department - are you available for other writerly conversions?

JJ said...

Wow, I am most impressed with your DIY skills. Is there no end to your talent?

Why don't you skip on to no 8 while you plan 3a-l? That would be a good idea, don't you think?

KAREN said...

That's so funny. I think if I made a list of all the jobs there are to do round the house at the moment I'd leave the would be easier to organise. The boarding looks great though - you deserve credit for that!

Tam said...

WOW! I thought the lighting was impressive but this? I am hiding all reference to your blog from hubby in case he gets the idea I could develop similar skills...

Well done on your achievements so far. If I were you, I'd make #8 a recurring feature on the list though - 1, 2, 8, 3, 4, 8, 5, 6,8 and so on?

Leigh said...

Lane - No.8 will be savoured, I fear. Probably so much so that I don't actually get any writing done!

Womag - oh, that's a bugger. Our loft was already insulated, but it was fun keeping the kids away from the 'nice fluffy stuff you can put your feet in'. (I'd been asking the trouser-wearer to do the loft for seven years, and I got a bit bored [ha ha] with waiting.)

Helen - Mmm, it would be all right if 3l wasn't actually 3a in disguise...

Spiralskies - Make it a bottle, and drink to my poor knees, will you? I'll do your loft when I've finished mine, howzat? ;-)

JJ - I can't really skip to no.8, tempting as it is, because until I've got a window to look out of, I can't see the view. I suppose I could just drink the wine anyway...

Karen - I did once make a full list of Jobs To Be Done, but when I reached no.100 I screwed it up and threw it away!

Tam - I like the sound of that; but I know if I
eat the Smarties before completing the task...

Tam said...

In olden days I'd have said stick to the blue Smarties and you'll get the job done in double quick time but I don't get the same buzz from 'em anymore...

Leigh said...

That's because you must have OD'd on them (or some boring fart in Brussels decided they were dangerous and had all the good stuff removed...)