Honesty is the Best Policy

The wonderful DJ Kirkby has awarded me this gong, for which I feel truly honoured (that DJK notices my existence is an honour in itself). The requirements for receiving it are as follows:
1. List ten honest things about yourself (try to make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!)
2. Pass the award on to ten other bloggers

Okay, here are the ten things:
1. I am a recovering obsessive, by which I mean that I now know myself to be obsessive, and try hard not to be. I also know many of my obsessions to be an unbelievable waste of time, but I still find it incredibly difficult to avoid them.
2. My house is an utter tip, despite tidiness being one of my obsessions. This causes me huge stress!
3. I dislocated my sacrum (the lower part of my back) at the age of twenty-four, and have suffered from almost constant pain since. It enrages me to see people lifting things using their backs - they have no idea what they are risking. USE YOUR KNEES. PLEEEEASE!!!
4. I cannot work without music on - it occupies that other part of my brain that would otherwise be drifting/worrying/obsessing. I listen to the same tracks over and over again and, according to iTunes, some have been played over two thousand times [gulp].
5. I envy women with loving mother-daughter relationships. I did not get on with my mother.
6. I love playing with Lego (having a six-year-old son is a real boon).
7. I have a passionate love of walking in the countryside - the more mountainous the better.
8. Despite having been writing since childhood, I was 35 before I realised that I wanted to be a Writer.
9. In real life, I earn my living as a web-designer, which panders wonderfully to my desire for perfection; there are endless opportunities for tinkering with a website.
10. When I was a child, I dreamed a lot about flying (I could take off, although not always successfully, by doing breaststroke into the air). I almost never fly these days, but I still dream very vividly - in Technicolour and with full Dolby Stereo.

And here are the ten other bloggers:
Debs, Liz, Karen, Helen, Maddie, JJ, Sally, Sprial Jen, Lane and Womag

Awards Awards!

I am really honoured this week; I have two more awards!

Really chuffed to have come third in DJK's Wordless Wednesday competition this week (see right). For those who are not familiar with Wordless Wednesday, I heartily recommend a visit to DJ's blog, Chez Aspie, where her weekly caption-competition brings a plethora of high-class entries (including mine, of course. Obviously). Get yours in too!

My other award is from JJ, who thinks my blog is fabulous. Well, thank you, JJ, and thank you for the challenge of naming five obsessions (the task attached to the award). Now, those who know me well will realise how difficult this challenge is for me, because I am not, in any way, an obsessive person. If I were, however, I think my obsessions would be:

• saving money (I have the bankers* to thank for this one)
• being on time
• loading the dishwasher in a certain way
• not hoarding (the current replacement for my hoarding obsession)
• not being obsessive
  * Feel free to translate into rhyming slang.

The Rules for receiving the above award are:
1. Copy and paste the rules and instructions into your post.
2. Post the award, and a link to the person who gave it to you.
3. Post five of your addictions.
4. Post five winners and link to them as well.
5. Inform your winners by commenting on their blogs.

So, my winners are: SallyQ, Karen, Trousers, B, Tom Foolery, and Zinnia.

Tagged by JJ

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Loads of things. Not married. No kids. Nuff said.

Five things on your to-do list for today:
Finish reading one of Jane's shorties
Finish writing letter of complaint to dentist
Unpack stuff from weekend stay at my Dad's
Sort the washing
Write something

What are three of your bad habits?
Perfectionism.
Always being in a hurry, even when I'm running to schedule.
Spending an hour making just-a-little change to a story when I should be sorting the washing.

What would you do if you were a billionaire?
Write.

What are some snacks you enjoy?
Chocolate
Chocolate
Chocolate

What were the last five books you read?
You're Not the Only One, Sarah J. Peach, Ed. (in progress)
Daphne, Justine Picardie (in progress)
A Talent to Deceive, Robert Barnard - a biography of Agatha Christie (in progress)
On Edge, Dick Francis
Shattered, Dick Francis

What are five jobs you have had?
Gardener
Electronic-component assembler
Groom
Page-setter
Web-designer

Five places that you have lived?
Hertfordshire (hated it)
Yorkshire (loved it)
Hampshire (bearable)
Surrey (unbearable)
Australia (er, hot)

Tags: Maddie, Helenmh, Womag, Karen, and Lucy (cos she's got nothing better to do at the moment).

Memes (Mesmes?)

I've been tagged for the Six-Word Bio. by Tam, and for the Three Things You Can't Explain to Your Mother meme by Karen (only I'm going to do it for my Dad), and the Nearest Book meme by Jumbly Girl. So here goes!

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Six-Word Bio.
Weary, Tired, Drained, Pooped, Shattered, Exhausted.

I tag: anyone with the energy left to do it.

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Three Things I Can't Explain to my Father
Other drivers are not able to tell that he's about to turn off, from his position in the road.
People don't understand, when he says 'portable' and 'tape', that he's talking about a laptop and a CD.
He is not now, and never will be, a burden.

Three Things my Father Can't Explain to Me
Why dogs are nicer than cats.
Why it's necessary to turn the volume right down, rather than just press mute.
What exactly it was that he did before his computer stopped working.

I tag: anyone who hasn't done it yet.

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Nearest Book Meme
1. Pick up the nearest book. 2. Open to page 123. 3. Find the fifth sentence. 4. Post the next three sentences. 5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

Er, does it really have to be the nearest book? Oh well, here goes...
Drapery Wholesalers, see: Soft furnishings Manufacturers and Wholesalers, Textile Manufacturers, Textile Warehousemen Wholesale. Draught Proofing, see: Energy Efficient Consultants and Systems, Insulation Installers. Dredging, Clearwater Dredging Ltd, 7 Greengate, Lurgashall, Petworth, (01428) 707058.

Sorry!

Tagged by Jumbly Girl.
Am tagging: Helenmh, TF, Liz, Womagwriter, and Sally.

Life-Movie-Soundtrack Meme

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…because you’re not!
7. Stick the soundtrack on your mp3 player and listen away during the day.

Opening Credits – Umbrella, Manic Street Preachers
Waking Up – Waiting for an Alibi, Thin Lizzy
First Day at School – Bethena Waltz, Scott Joplin
Falling in Love – Toccata Fugue in D minor, J. S. Bach
Fight Song – I Say a Little Prayer, Aretha Franklin
Breaking Up – Seven Wonders, Fleetwood Mac
Prom/Dance/Ball – I Heard it Through the Grapevine, Marvin Gaye
Life's OK – Single, Everything but the Girl
Mental Breakdown – World Where you Live, Crowded House
Flashback – Some Days You Gotta Dance, Dixie Chicks
Getting Back Together – Piano Concerto No.2 Larghetto, Chopin
Birth of Child – Devil Woman, Cliff Richard (ahem)
Wedding – Catwoman, Shakespeare's Sister
Final Battle – Piano Concerto #21 In C, "Elvira Madigan", Mozart
Funeral Song – What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong (actually, I'd like that played at my funeral)
End Credits – Free Bird, Lynyrd Skynyrd (ha ha ha!)

Thank God SClub 7 and Tom Jones didn't come up. I'd be really embarrassed for you to know I had those, and I wouldn't like to listen to them all day either.

Book Meme

Nicked from Helen.

1. Hardcover or paperback, and why?
Hardback, as long as it's properly stitched (and not glued).

2. If I were to own a book shop I would call it…
'Dusty Bums' (from sitting on the floor reading - just felt I needed to explain that).

3. My favourite quote from a book (mention the title) is…
The first line of any Dick Francis novel.

4. The author (alive or deceased) I would love to have lunch with would be….
Robert Louis Stevenson.

5. If I was going to a deserted island and could only bring one book, except the SAS survival guide, it would be…
Chambers Dictionary (Sorry: NERD ALERT!).

6. I would love someone to invent a bookish gadget that…
Made books easier to read when you're lying on your side in bed.

7. The smell of an old book reminds me of…
My father's study.

8. If I could be the lead character in a book (mention the title), it would be…
Any romance where the hero is tall, dark and handsome (and rich).

9. The most overestimated book of all time is….
Anything by a celebrity ‘non’-writer (YES! Helen, I couldn't agree more!)

10. I hate it when a book…
Turns out (when I've finished it) to be the first in a series of five...

My Career as a Rock Star Starts Here

This is a great procrastination meme that I nicked from found on Karen's blog. All you have to do is:

1. Click on Wikipedia's Random Article page
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Click on this Random Quote page
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Click on Flickr's Last Seven Days page
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Here's mine:


I like this so much that I now plan to give up all forms of drudgery, and become a rock star.

Good Vibrations

Thank you to the Moondreaming Daisy for this tag: five ways I raise my vibrations. Sadly, not as naughty as it sounds.

Nice Days with the Kids
By nice days, I mean those days when I've had enough sleep, everyone else has had enough sleep, no one's hungry or ill, and the sun is out... The days when I have patience to sing along to kiddies songs on the CD player, or get the paints/glitter & glue/baking kit out, or just have time, energy and inclination to muck about with them, wrestling on the floor (or whatever). I love days like that.

Writing
I would be lost without the chance to write. I would spend my days wondering around, gnashing my teeth, and blurting out lines of unused dialogue. I fear I would sound a bit like a bear with Tourette's.

Music
Writing leads me straight on to music, because I am unable to do the former without the latter. My most productive writing comes when I am lounging on my bed, headphones on, listening to the same twelve tracks over and over again! I do listen to other music at other times too!

Going to the Cinema
I get all excited when I go to the cinema, like a teenager on her first date. Himself is not a big fan of the movies (it's much more fun to go with Jane), but I manage to drag him out of the pub every now and then.

Sleeping
Now, I know this is not exciting at all, but I really look forward to going to sleep. That dozy time between being awake and being asleep is when I think up the best plot twists and dialogue (it is also when I forget the best plot twists and dialogue). It is also the time when my mind seems to float free of the day's stresses, and I can feel positive about even the worst things. It's probably the only time when I am completely chilled. This is generally when one (or more) of the children wake(s) up...

I now tag Womagwriter, Lucy, Maddie, Jen and JJ.

Another Wonderful (but rather tricky) Meme!

Tagged by Liz and JJ. Thank you!

The small print: Link to the person that tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on his/her website.

1. I used to be a perfectionist, but having children cured me (it was a painful transition!). I am still quite obsessive about many things, but have finally realised that life is much more fun when you're chilled.

2. Between the ages of sixteen and thirty-one, I moved home twelve times. At one time I lived in a camper van in a pub carpark.

3. I have only ever had one proper job (for thirteen months after leaving school). I stormed out, having been told once too many times that I had a bad attitude (and, boy, did I have a bad attitude). Since then I have worked as: a gardener, an assembler of things electrical, a groom, a car mechanic, an odd job, a CNC operator, a (vanity) publisher, a web designer, a bar maid, a page setter, and a basketmaker. I hope, yet, to be a writer...

4. I married my university tutor.

5. I was born at home, three weeks early, and weighed only five-and-a-half pounds. I didn't breathe for two minutes, and owe my life to Dr Schultz. My father still sleeps in the room in which I was born.

6. I am very clumsy. I was on first name terms with staff at my local A&E/physio depts by the age of 13.

Now I tag...let's see...Sally, Karen, Helenmh, Lane, Maddie, and Womagwriter.

A Lovely Long Procrastination Meme

Thanks, Cal, for this tag! I've had a terrible day, and this has really cheered me up (and saved you lot from the most depressing alternative post). Here we go...

What's the last thing you wrote?
Not including blogging, chapter 1 of novel 2.

Was it any good?
In first-draft mode? Probably not.

What's the first thing you ever wrote that you still have?
A short story about me looking after my Grandma's sweetshop, and a nasty customer whom I got the better of. I was about eight.

Write poetry?
Only when I'm depressed.

Angsty poetry?
Oh, yes (see above).

Favourite genre of writing?
I don't know yet; I haven't tried many styles. I guess I like best what I'm working on at any one time. Currently women's fiction.

Most fun character you ever created?
He is yet to come - a character from novel 2. I giggle just to think about him.

Most annoying character you ever created?
My baddie from novel 2 is pretty irritating, but I wrote a short story featuring a woman so snobbish that I just wanted to slap her.

Best plot you ever created?
I'm sorry, but if I told you this, I would have to kill you.

Coolest plot twist you ever created?
See above.

How often do you get writer's block?
Every couple months, and it usually lasts a couple of weeks. I hate it.

Write fan fiction?
Er...What's fan fiction?

Do you type or write by hand?
Type, except middle-of-the-night notes written on tissues/margins of magazines/the back of my hand.

Do you save everything you write?
Yes. I am an obsessive hoarder, and my writing is no exception. I get attached to it, especially the duff stuff that no one else likes. I feel sorry for it, you see...

Do you ever go back to an old idea long after you abandoned it?
I've never actually ever abandoned anything (see above).

What's your favourite thing that you've written?
My first serious short story, about a young English woman, and her infatuation with a French actor. I still laugh when I read it. I've never written anything as funny or as poignant since.

What's everyone else's favourite story that you've written?
I don't know for sure, but a funny Christmas story I wrote this year got good feedback.

Do you ever show people your work?
My pal, Jane, my Dad, and himself see everything I write. No one else!

Did you ever write a novel?
Yup. I started it in 1986, and had another go in 1996. In 2006 I completely rewrote it. None of the original 20,000 words now exists; but like the woodman's axe, I tend to think of it as the same story.

Ever written romance or teen angsty drama?
Well, I guess novel 1 started out that way, (because I was an angsty teen at the time), but it has morphed into something else. Chick noir, I think it's called.

What's your favourite setting for your characters?
Islay, and island in the inner Hebrides. A beautiful place.

[If you're still with me, hi!]

How many writing projects are you working on right now?
I working on revising novel 1 (for the nth time), and have made a serious start on novel 2.

Do you want to write for a living?
Make a living out of something I can't help but do anyway? Ermmm....[thinks], I guess so.

Have you ever won an award for your writing?
Noooo!

Ever written something in script or play format?
No, but I'm very keen to have a go at this. My first short story (mentioned above) would make a perfect Afternoon Play (and a big "Hello!" to any BBC talent scouts who are visiting today).

What are your five favourite words?
Um, if you take my word frequency count then: the, a, to, and, I.

Do you ever write based on yourself?
I'm sure all my characters have a bit of me in them (the nice ones anyway).

What character have you created that most resembles yourself?
The heroine of novel one started out (in the 1986 version) as me. She no longer resembles me at all, sadly (she's rich and famous, and I'm not).

Where do you get ideas for your other characters?
From other people, of course. I have made up a few characters completely, but most of them are based on people I know or have encountered.

Do you ever write based on your dreams?
Yes, I wrote a great poem (i.e. not a depressive one) last year that was based on a dream.

Do you favour happy endings, sad endings, or cliff-hangers?
I like happy endings best, but I try to write the end that best fits the story. There's nothing jags more than an inappropriate ending.

Have you ever written based on an artwork you've seen?
No.

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
Yes. I'm an obsessive dotter of 'i's and crosser of 't's, even as I go along. I detest bad grammar, spelling and punctuation (especially when it's my own). Lynne Truss is worshipped in this house.

Ever write something entirely in chatspeak? (How r u?)
No, but I have written a short story that features it. That was quite fun to work on.

Entirely in L337?
/\/07 ¥37 (ha ha ha!)

Was that question completely appalling and un-writer like?
Huh?

Does music help you write?
It's essential. I can't write without music, preferably in headphones.

Quote something you've written. The first thing to pop into your mind.
The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven,
upon the place beneath.
(Well, it was the first thing to pop in to my mind, although I confess I didn't write it)

I tag JJ, Karen, Maddie, Jen, and Sarah *G*.

First Letter Meme

I've pinched this meme from Lane, who in turn snitched it from Jen. I quite liked the animal theme, and so I am going to re-introduce you to Rudy (of under-the-desk-vomit fame).

Rudy is a rag-doll, the largest breed of domestic cat, and so called because of his habit to go floppy when picked up. This just about says it all (psst... don't mention the pink nose; he's a boy):

R - Raucous. When I want something (food, to go outside, food, a cuddle, food, to go outside, food - you get the picture?)
U - Undeterred. Even when the rabbit is larger than I am.
D - Dim. People will tell you that cats are intelligent. I'm not.
Y - Yes. Is the answer to any offers of food, even if it's not actually offered, and even if it's still on someone else's plate. I don't mind. I'm not fussy.

I now tag...Smudge.

A-Whole-Evening's-Worth-of-Procrastination Meme

Thanks for the tag, Sally!

Five Gentlemen I'd Like To Have Round for Tea
Sir Jimmy Young
Sir Bob Geldof
Tom Lehrer
Richard Branson
Trevor Baylis

Five Ladies I'd Like to Lunch With
Dame Maggie Smith
Dame Judi Dench
Zoe Wanamaker
Victoria Wood
Joanna Lumley

Four People I'd Like To Meet in Heaven (exc. family & friends)
Isaac Asimov
William Wallace
George III
Socrates
Dame Thora Hird

Four Material Things I Couldn't Live Without
My car (sorry, environment)
My camera (for taking lots of piccies of the kids)
My computer (and all its associated widgets)
My washing machine (for all the goo)

Four Things I COULD Live Without
My watch
The TV
The Jeremy Vine Show
The cat jumping on my head at five in the morning

Three Books I Would Save From a Burning Building
The OED (or Chambers, if you prefer)
Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, by Richard Bach
My Grandmother’s copy of Black Beauty

Three Books I Would Throw Into a Burning Building
Any childcare book by Miriam Stoppard
The London Orbital, by God Knows (I’ve thrown it already)
Hard Times, by Charles Dickens

Five Songs That Make Me Happy
Handel’s The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba
Mozart’s Prelude to The Marriage of Figaro
The Flanders & Swann version of Mozart’s Horn Concerto in E flat
Kenny Ball’s version of Mozart’s Rondo (3rd movement, Piano Sonata No 11 in A)
The Dukenfield Brothel, as sung by The Three Crows

Five Songs That Make Me Cry
Pachabel’s Canon in D
Promise Me, by Beverley Craven
Father to Son, by Cat Stevens
Nothing Compares 2U, by Sinéad O’Connor
The Fields of Athenry, folk song

Two Things I Wish I'd Invented
Wireless technology
The telescope

I tag: JJ, and Liz Fenwick

Book Meme

Okay, here we go...

Total Number of Books
Erm, had to get the tape measure out for this one: about 20-yards - is that an acceptable unit of measurement? I have no idea what the actual number is. We have three floor-to-ceiling bookcases in the study, with some doubled-up. There are also two smaller book cases in the same room, plus the pile in the bedroom, plus the pile on the sitting-room windowsill, and so on. My father's study has more than that on just one wall (and that's just one room), so I know where I get it from.

Last Book Read
Watching the English, by Kate Fox, a hilarious anthropological look at the unwritten rules of Englishness. She starts the book explaining that she has just spent the morning bumping into people (and counting the number who said 'sorry'), and that she is about to spend the afternoon queue-jumping, and how she really doesn't want to do this. I nodded, and chuckled my way right through this book. I am very much hoping that she will produce a study of the Scots, Welsh and Irish, too.

Last Book Bought
The Great Big Glorious Book for Girls, by Rosemary Davidson and Sarah Vine. This is a wonderful celebration of all things girly, and contains much of the vital information I missed out on, having had a career-orientated mother. It explains how to bake fairy cakes, apply make-up, sew, etc., and is a marvellous antidote for political correctness.

Five Meaningful Books
1. The Hobbit, by J. R. R. Tolkein
I can remember lying awake in the dark, when I was supposed to be asleep, listening to my father read this book to my older sister on the other side of the room. Not being able to see the illustrations, my imagination conjured its own pictures of Middle Earth and its inhabitants, and these are the images I carry with me still.

2. Barney Blue Eyes, by Mabel Marlowe
The first book I can remember my father reading to me. A collection of short stories about Barney the copper-gnome, and his friends, Humpy, Grump, Bumble, Lazy Lob, Mumble, Dobble, and Jingle (I might have missed someone here). The tales chart their exploits both in and out of the copper mines where they work. It was first published in 1934, and I know that the stories were, at some stage, broadcast on Children's Hour.

3. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, by Richard Bach
Read it! I cannot begin to explain!

4. Tess of the D'Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy
I studied this book for O-level which, you might think, would put me off for life. True, I haven't read it since (I haven't needed to), but it made me aware, as a teenager, just how unfair life is.

5. Quaker Faith & Practice
Known amongst Friends as 'The Red Book', this is presented to all Quakers when they join. Rather than the dogma one might expect from a religious organisation, it is, in fact, a collection of notes, many taken from personal experience, to help guide one through the many and varied difficulties of life. Invaluable at times of crisis.

Now, I can't tag anyone else to do this, as all the bloggers I read have already completed it.